jslsurf | Let-it-go

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Pakistani Bodhisattva in Hellenistic style.

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Someday I'm going to:

Let it go by: jslsurf

I need to let go of all the anger and resentment that prevents me from moving on and enjoying life.

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Step 1: Don't forget to breath.3
Step 2: Everyday, consider the fact that you are going to die, and ask yourself what you will do with the time you have on this earth.3
Step 3: Listen to the people who love you. Ignore the people who don't.3
Step 4: Recognize that most people who know you do love you.4
Step 5: Recognize that love and friendship comes with limitations, and don't try to push yourself or others beyond those limitations. Only the divine spirit is capable of limitless love.4
Step 6: Be grateful for what you have. Do not covet those things you don't have.3
Step 7: Accept genuine love and friendship as it comes into your life, no matter what form it takes. Offer genuine love and friendship to as many people as you can.4
Step 8: Forgive all the people who wronged you in the past. Ask forgiveness from all those you wronged, and those who wronged you.5
Step 9: Learn to live with your limitations and shortcomings.3
Step 10: Work on the things that bring you happiness and a sense of purpose in life. Recognize that wealth and possessions cannot make you happy.4
Step 11: Do something fun everyday. (Watching TV or playing video games don't count).3
Step 12: Accept youself.3

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jslsurf(420 Days ago)Bad day today. My ex-wife was, as usual, was attempting to use me as her doormat. For once in my life, I actually stood up for myself, with no external prompting from friends and family. Did I have good reason to be angry at her? Yes. Did I handle it well? By most mainstream criteria and given the circumstances, yes. It was theraputic. But it also went against my Buddhist principals. It`s hard to be graceful in the middle of a divorce.Flag as Inappropriate

globehound(377 Days ago)Congrats on the progress. Looks like you`re just about there. Maybe once you get there, you`ll be there? My zen thought for the day.Flag as Inappropriate

jslsurf(377 Days ago)You know, the last two items on the list are tough, especially when you live in or near New York City. I`ve just started dating a wonderful woman. She is a fellow Buddhist, and she inspires me and pushes me in a good way. She is also a very successful free-lance writer and very driven. She lives near Gramercy Park and makes a lot more money than I ever have. I`ve been chronically underemployed for the last three years, and I`ve never been paid what I`m worth in my entire career, so it`s a bit hard to let the issue of money go. I don`t need to make a million dollars, but I would like to have a stable income for once in my life. Don`t know if that`s a healthy desire or a grasping desire.Flag as Inappropriate

globehound(353 Days ago)Completely understand. As a Buddhist I guess you believe that things happen as they should so if you`re meant to have money, its because its what was meant to happen. Putting aside religious/spiritual beliefs, I think most Americans are programmed to believe that money can buy happiness or at least stability and I think on some level its healthy. That said, from what I can tell having a lot of money does not necessarily equal more happiness.Flag as Inappropriate

jslsurf(314 Days ago)Just checked the last two items off my list. I do not believe for one second that my spiritual jurney is over, or that I`ll never struggle with any of these isses again, but I feel very much at peace.

Regarding money and happiness. I`ve stated dating a new woman since I last wrote about this someday. She, like me, is not quite divorced yet. Like me, she`s going to need to find a new place to live sometime in the next three months to a year. Unlike my last girlfriend, she is pretty unconcerned with money. She was married to a banking executive and was miserable. Now she`s about to experience a major down-sizing in status, and couldn`t be happier. She`s been a good influence on me. I still have legitimate worries about finances. And I think it`s a healthy desire to want to be self-sufficient at my age. But I`m not caught up in the need to make a pile of money to be happy.

Regarding comparing myself to others: You know, I am not at all impressed with movie stars and famous artists or writers. But I do envy the people who were my classmates in college who have done well for themselves. But now it occurs to me that`s crazy. The sucess or failure of somebody I knew twenty years ago has about as much bearing on my life as whether somebody wins an Oscar or marries into the royal family. The only thing that matters is that I live the best life I can and try to treat people the best I can.

I`ve come a long way. I still have a long way to go. But I feel like I`ve let a huge chunk of negativity go.Flag as Inappropriate

jayneblonde002(307 Days ago)Hi. I have been in the anger/resentment trap before and was there for a long time. I realised that, whilst we have a right to be angry, we don`t have a right to inflict negative consequences of our anger on others. I learned that acting out anger (by whatever means e.g. shouting, screaming, kicking, biting, *being resentful*......) is a bad habit and feeling angry is a bad habit. It takes some work but once you are free of that need to be angry, you live a released life.

I am busy reading Eckhart Tolle`s "A New Yeart" and whilst it is heavy reading and is taking me ages, there are some things in there that really turned on lightbulbs in my brain. I don`t agree with everything he says but I take what I need and leave the rest. One of the gems I have managed to absorb is that reality is what it is - neither positive nor negative. Nothing on this earth or beyond is "out to get you". It`s your reaction or action towards that reality that makes all the difference.

I deeply commend your recognition that this is not what life is all about and that you are openly trying to do something about it. Please feel free to contact me at melinda@skytec.co.za if you would like to discuss further.Flag as Inappropriate

EllenM(307 Days ago)Hello, I`ve been working on anger/resentment, too. VERY difficult to grasp the root of the problem and then try to do something about it. I`ve been working on it for a year. For me it has been like peeling an onion...layer after layer after layer...and there`s still some left. I like the steps you`ve created in your plan. Step 8 scares me and I haven`t been able to do it. Step 10 has been the lifesaver for me and has made it possible to make progress. Keep up the good work. I`ll keep checking your list!Flag as Inappropriate

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Step 1: Don't forget to breath.3
Step 2: Everyday, consider the fact that you are going to die, and ask yourself what you will do with the time you have on this earth.3
Step 3: Listen to the people who love you. Ignore the people who don't.3
Step 4: Recognize that most people who know you do love you.4
Step 5: Recognize that love and friendship comes with limitations, and don't try to push yourself or others beyond those limitations. Only the divine spirit is capable of limitless love.4
Step 6: Be grateful for what you have. Do not covet those things you don't have.3
Step 7: Accept genuine love and friendship as it comes into your life, no matter what form it takes. Offer genuine love and friendship to as many people as you can.4
Step 8: Forgive all the people who wronged you in the past. Ask forgiveness from all those you wronged, and those who wronged you.5
Step 9: Learn to live with your limitations and shortcomings.3
Step 10: Work on the things that bring you happiness and a sense of purpose in life. Recognize that wealth and possessions cannot make you happy.4
Step 11: Do something fun everyday. (Watching TV or playing video games don't count).3
Step 12: Accept youself.3